Hello. I’m back on track. Hopefully! I cannot say that I have never been happy ever since, it’s just that I’m happy I did something for a change. I’m back in my little room with stars that glow in the dark, with my mini library, with my two bed mattress, with my little green cabinet and my little mirror. Aah, I missed these little things so much. I don’t have AC here in my room, I have NA (Natural Air), feels like I’m always on vacation, teeeheee!
Our trip back home was never easy. Ricci and I had a lot of short problems encountered on our last few days. Short because every time we decide to just let it be, nature goes with us. It didn’t last that long, we always end up smiling because it turned out good in the end. It is such a wonderful feeling that both of us agreed to do so. Every time we do it we always do high five to each other! *wink*. I felt like we’re a perfect team. ^_^.
Making the biggest decision of our lives was never that easy. I’m glad Ricci is always there to back me up. I decided to quit and he was there to support me, even though he will also be affected by that decision. We just think that there’s a brighter future ahead of us upon making this decision. It was never really easy because our family will also be affected but thinking on the things that we’ll make because of this decision, they will also benefit in the future, God’s will, that He’ll let us through the challenges as we go through it. *wink*
We have within us the power to start over again.
The future is always beginning now.
I admit, now that I’m back there are a lot of uncertainties in my mind. I read this one article from the link above and all the questions were the same questions that I’ve been through last night and even up to now. I’m glad I did open the laptop and the first thing I did was to visit the URL.
Should I turn around?
I asked this last night while waiting for the Iron Man 3 movie starts. But I answered back to myself, for what? And besides you’ve got nothing to go back to! Hahahaha!
What makes me happy? Someday you will look back over your life and you will realize that the best moments – when you felt most alive – were the moments when you let your instincts and passions guide you.
A lot of things actually. I cannot decide but for now what makes me happy is to be with the people I love the most, I love to be with despite all the hardships. Living simple in our little home, is a wonderful feeling. We may not have all the luxuries we are happy to be with each other.
Is it time to write the next chapter? When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom, or criticize you, remember, they’re telling you their story, not yours.
I remember back when one person asked what I’m going to do and no other words came out from his mouth but this “You’re not going to pass!“. It might be a joke, but it’s mean, I know and I can feel jealousy he have had felt after knowing that I will be doing it.
What can I do now to change my situation? When you blame everyone and everything else, you give up your power to change.
When Ricci and I made this decision, we made a vow not to blame each other. And last night, when we talked about I might felt regretful for what I have done or doubtful of what I will become, we will become, he reminded me of what we have promised to each other.
What have I been doing wrong all along? Admitting your mistakes and weaknesses does not diminish your strength, it shows your courage and development. It’s not giving up, it’s growing up.
I always fail on making a commitment to myself, from trying to have a regular exercise to making my right brain function normally again! Hehehehe. Seriously, to make me feel confident again after all that I have been feeling. Yet, I never committed to all of these. I always feel and think that there are distractions but the truth is that I let laziness overcome me.
What do I need to try again? This is why you have to be strong when you feel like giving up, and you have to fight when you just want to run away. Because sometimes that’s all you can do to KEEP GOING – which is precisely what you need to do.
Honestly, I have not done anything so far to try again what have had failed. I’m still in my relaxation mode. I am writing this to help me start my 30-day challenge. Hopefully afterwards I’ll get to commit all the things that failed plan and do.
How can I motivate myself? To accomplish great things, you must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe. Be a dreamer, a believer, a courageous and cheerful thinker.
Yesterday while cleaning my room, I found my old diaries and I’ve read the part where I felt so down finding a job, I was a fresh graduate then. Now I felt the same, but I tried to changed my negative thinking to something that my friends and family always told me. Others believed that I can, how can I not be to myself?
What excuses am I making? To get where you want to go you just have to start DOING. It makes all the difference. Making excuses takes the same amount of time as making progress.
Ouch! I always do this – making excuses. If you are to ask Ricci, definitely he’ll answer YES.
The article help me review back what I have done and what I should have needed to do but failed. But I guess it’s not yet too late to start all over again. I am in a new chapter now, Ricci and I will be writing our new chapter as couples. We will get through this I know together with our ever supportive family and friends.
Sorry for all the self-portraits above, I asked Ricci to take me pictures at the same time teaching him of my passion. He doesn’t have the same passion as mine, but I’m glad that he’s trying to learn it, but tell you it’s not that easy. He always complain and sometimes hurt my feelings of the way he tells things and me ended up crying silently, sometimes not talking to him but it’s okay, I can still feel how supportive he is to my passion – photography. He even let me buy my long time planned camera. ^_^.
I might be gone for quite sometime now but will definitely be keep on updating my portfolio and my blog, if I can have the time.
Til next post,